The Thinking Wheel

Today my day started as it usually does.....waiting for the bus to college. Actually in these past 3 years I have become immensely fond of traveling to college, as this is the only time I get to be 'alone' with my thought. I losely sometimes refer to the bus as The Thinking Wheel. I just love the feeling of talking to my self......I wonder how many of us do that, always giving excuses of the busy schedule and hectic lifestyles.

The truth lies within everyone, that u don’t want to, that if u talk to yourself, the darkest side of u cannot be hidden and that makes u realise what u have been doing which u yourself cannot justify, thus giving rise to guilt, shame and pity.

So simply we stop thinking coz we don not have the guts to take up responsibility of our own actions, always blaming the cause and the effect on someone else. That's how we maintain a 'clean' and 'selfless' image in society.
Maybe that's a way of life these days, the easiest, without any struggle, without any responsibility, without any THOUGHT.

Over the years I have started believing in one thing and that is how hard u try u cannot lie to you. And this is the process which leads to a felling of guilt and remorse.

Often talking to my own self I find a lot of pleasure, they are like my daily flush out sessions where i 'talk' about everything that happened that day, that shouldn’t have happened that day, what i should have done, what i shouldn’t have done and of course how good I was in doing something and how bad in doing the other.

One more thing that always forces me to ask the question 'why' is, why do people feel pride in oneself is bad, why cant u appreciate your own skills, why cant u feel pride in your own actions if u have done something good. Feeling proud doesn’t mean u r denouncing someone ability, why it has to be comparative, why pride in oneself is is interpreted as pity on others.

Give it a thought guys, humans are capable of immense emotions and not all of them are as bad as we make them look they are.